When a tragic event dominates news headlines, it can be hard for people of any age to process, but for children who are still learning about the world around them and their place in it, it might trigger questions, uncertainty or fear. Every child will experience a situation differently, some will be unfazed, others will need some time, space and support to manage their feelings.
It’s important to talk to them about what’s happened and how they feel about it. Don’t worry about saying the wrong thing, sharing too much, or making things worse. The good news is that children don’t need perfect words. What they need most are calm, honest and supportive adults who are willing to listen and sit with them through their feelings.
How can I help my child cope?
1. Reassure safety first
Begin by helping your child feel safe and secure in the moment. Your calm presence matters more than having all the answers.
Some phrases you can try include:
- “You’re safe right now, and I’m here with you.”
- “Lots of adults are working to help keep everyone safe.”
2. Limit exposure to media coverage
Try to limit how much young children see, hear or read about the event in the news, on social media and online. It’s hard to shield them from every source, so If they do see a news report, explain it to them.
3. Listen before explaining
Children may have heard things from friends, school or online that aren’t accurate. Understanding what they already know helps you respond appropriately.
You could ask “what have you heard about what happened?” or “is there anything you’re feeling worried or confused about?”.
4. Be honest and age-appropriate
Share factual information using simple language, without graphic or overwhelming detail. It’s okay to admit when you don’t know something.
These conversations may sound like “what we know so far is…” or “I don’t have all the answers, but we can talk about it together”.
5. Acknowledge and normalise feelings
Children may feel scared, sad, angry or unsure. They may show these feelings through behaviour rather than words. Let them know their reactions are okay and reassure them with phrases like “it makes sense to feel upset after something like this” or “lots of kids feel this way when something scary happens.”
6. Provide support over time
Conversations about traumatic events don’t end after one talk. Keeping routines, limiting exposure to distressing media and checking in regularly helps children feel supported.
You could try asking:
- “How are you feeling about this today?”
- “If you think of more questions later, you can always talk to me.”
Signs your child may not be coping
Children respond to traumatic events in different ways, and there is no single ‘right’ reaction. Some children may want to talk straight away, while others may not have the words or may not want to talk at all.
You might notice changes in behaviour rather than emotions being spoken aloud. These responses are often a child’s way of communicating distress and usually ease with time and support.
Common responses can include:
- Changes in sleep, including trouble falling asleep or nightmares
- Clinginess, separation anxiety or wanting extra reassurance
- Irritability, anger or emotional outbursts
- Withdrawal, quietness or loss of interest in usual activities
- Regressive behaviours, such as bedwetting or thumb sucking in younger children
- Physical complaints like headaches or stomach aches
When should I seek help?
If your child continues to show signs of distress weeks after the event or struggles with daily activities, consider reaching out for extra support through a GP, school counsellor or child mental health professional.
Further resources:
- Headspace - How to help a young person after trauma
- Parentline - Coping With A Crisis Or Disaster