What does self-care really mean? Put simply, self-care is any activity or practice that you choose to do to help keep your mind, emotions and body healthy. It helps you handle the stress of everyday life and bounce back from hard times.
Being a parent can be really busy. Often, you’re juggling a lot of tasks such as looking after your child, working, managing relationships, and keeping up with daily duties. On top of that, it can be very stressful when your child is sick, in the hospital, or recovering from illness.
During these stressful times, you might stop thinking about your own needs so you can focus on your child and others around you. But ignoring your own needs isn’t always the best choice. You can only take good care of others if you are well yourself. That’s why self-care is even more important during hard times.
Why do we find self-care so hard?
Even though self-care is good for us, many people see it as a luxury, rather than a necessity. Others may feel bad for putting themselves first when they have children to look after.
Another reason that people may not engage in self-care is that they think of it as an “all-or-nothing”. But good self-care doesn’t have to be a big deal. In fact, it works better when it’s simple and fits into your life. The easier it is, the more likely you’ll stick with it.
There’s no right way to do self-care
You might have ideas of what self-care should look like, but there is no ‘right’ way to do self-care. We all handle stress in our own way, and we all have different ways of looking after ourselves.
Self-care starts by learning what works for you. What do you like and dislike? What gives you energy or wears you out? What feels achievable, and what feels so hard that you don’t even try? Your answers to these questions may be very different from someone else’s, and that’s ok.
The four domains of stress and self-care
To understand your own self care needs, you can start by checking in with yourself.
How are you feeling today? Is your body and mind showing signs that you need some extra support? Or are you feeling capable and strong?
In daily life, when something feels hard or stressful, our body reacts - this is called a stress reaction. It’s our body’s way of trying to protect us and manage that stress.
We usually feel stress in four different ways, also called domains:
- Physical - stress can affect your body. You might sweat, feel dizzy, get a headache, or notice your heart beating faster.
- Mental (Psychological) - stress can affect yourthinking. You might find it hard to concentrate, feel confused, make more mistakes or be more distracted.
- Emotional - stress can affect your feelings. You might feel frustrated, moody, angry, worried, or even unsafe.
- Behavioural - stress can change how you act. You might sleep poorly, lose patience more easily or avoid certain tasks.
If we make time for regular self-care, we are better prepared to handle stress when it comes. It’s like building your own “self-care armour” to protect you during tough times.
Let’s build your self-care plan
A good way to start your self-care plan is to look at what you already do to look after your overall wellbeing. This can help you see what’s working well and what areas might need a bit more care or attention.
When creating your plan, try to choose things that match your interests, and feel achievable for you. Life changes all the time, and so does stress - so it’s completely okay to change your self-care plan as your needs change.
Some ideas to get you started are:
- Listen to a new podcast
- Enjoy a meal outdoors
- Listen to rainforest sounds on your phone at bed time
- Write down three things that made you smile today
- Go outside at night and stargaze
- Create a playlist of your favourite music
- Spend time with animals
- Complete a 20-minute workout on YouTube in your loungeroom
- Press mute on that group text that has been causing you stress
- Do some deep breathing
- Go to bed an hour earlier
- Work in the garden
Why don’t you take a few minutes now to note down some of your own ideas, to start creating your self-care plan?